Things My Kids Say As Shared On Twitter

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are recent Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.

Image Courtesy of Giphy

1. J (in a panic): Mom, I don't know how I got this giant cut on my arm. Me (inspecting): That's just ketchup. J (licks arm): Well, that's a relief #parenting #smh #KidLife #unfiltered

2. Dad: Can you get me my cup from the music room? M: You mean the fart room? Dad: I mean the room with all my records and my record player. M: I call it the fart room, cause that's where I go to fart #smh #parenting

3. J: I hope I have this cold forever because I've really been able to focus on my #Venom impression #parenting #smh #FacePalm

4. M: I liked picking up J from his classroom.  I felt just like his mom, you know cause I was holding all of his stuff #parenting #roles #lifegoals

Image Courtesy of Giphy

5. J: Let's take off our shirts, hug each other and pretend to be #Rambo #movietwit #parenting #films #ThingsKidsSay

6. Two polar opposite reactions to a dead goldfish.  M: lots of crying.  J (trying to cheer her up): Maybe he was taken over by Venom and the other fish had to kill him so he wouldn't destroy their world. #parenting #pets #fish

Big Fat Zombie Goldfish is a current Fav book of Jack's Image Courtesy of YouTube

7. M: If mom died dad would have to drive us so many places. Me: Is that all u think I do? I help u with ur homework, pack lunches, organize your activities, gifts 4 friends, appointments Dad: Yeah I'd have to set aside maybe half an hour a day #facepalm #Motherhood #MyLife

8. J: When I grow up, I'm going to live here. I'm going to live here forever. So you better get a third pillow so I can sleep between you and daddy. #parenting (just wait till he's a teen and now I have a record) #smh

9. Somewhere during today's Q&A about the birds and the bees my honesty led both children to assume their father can make random inanimate objects multiply "like when Gremlins get wet" at his whim, whenever he uses his "special seed" #SMH #parenting #facepalm


To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click here, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, &here.