Thursday, 22 June 2017

Words of Wisdom: My Kids in 140 Characters or Less

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.


Drake Dancing The Six
Image Courtesy of Giphy


1. M: What if I ask Drake to marry me and he just shrugs? problems when you're 5 years old

2. J: We can't leave Dollarama until I finish smelling all of the gum


3. M: Look an eagle! Me: That's a seagull M: Isn't it beautiful? I hope it doesn't poop on our car


Image Courtesy of Giphy


4. J: Who's singing on the radio? Me: The Red Hot Chili Peppers J: Can you turn them off? They're too spicy for my ears

5. Bedtime story & my son climbs up on my back for what I think is a cuddle & yells FART BOMB at the top of his lungs

6. M: don't worry about opening the car door. I'm just going to kick out the window to escape


7. J: The most dangerous thing about is the lightning & explosions


8. Parenting level expert. jogging 4.2 miles per hour while creating a cheese string spider for your son

9. Muse is playing on the radio. M: Why are they singing like ghosts? Are they trying to be scary? I don't get it. 10. J: Let's write a song about a scorpion & a lobster who fight. Maybe they die, maybe they become BFFs Let's find out!

To read more blogs featuring the wacky things my kids say as featured on twitter, follow me @Sarabethbug & click hereclick hereherehereherehereherehere, and here.



Monday, 19 June 2017

Paperback Writer: Sharing My Writing From Other Sites

It's that time of the month again when I share some of the writing I've been completing for other publications.  This past month I wrote an article that went viral and to date has earned nearly 1.6 million views (13 Things Celeb Parents Did That Were Sketchy AF).  One of the interesting things for me in terms of parenting and entertainment articles is how it's hard to predict if what I write is going to be popular or not.  Some of my favourite articles to write and research are the ones with the least "sexy" topics and titles, so I'm always curious to see what attracts readers.

Nowadays as my full-time job I write and ghostwrite articles for online publications, organizations and blogs, in addition to providing public relations services.  While I can't really share my ghostwritten articles on this platform, cause then I wouldn't really be a ghostwriter would I, I can share some of the other stuff I have been working on.

I'm looking forward to lightening my work load a little this summer to enjoy some lengthy vacations with the minions as well as more time with them on a day to day basis while they'll only be attending camp part time each week.  As always, the more time I spend with Molly and Jack, often means more content for Multiple Momstrosity...so buckle up!

Click on the links for the topics that interest you most, and if you enjoy what I wrote please share, like, and follow, and keep parenting and reading on!  If you have any ideas for a story, a playground review, or article on any front, feel free to share it with me!  I'm always looking for new sources of inspiration!

Family Vacation Planning

National Lampoon
Image Courtesy of Yahoo


Family Vacations & Staycations That Won’t Break Your Budget


Parenting Bigger Kids


The Ins & Outs Of Growth Spurts In Kids

Coping When Your Child Picks A Favourite

Mean Girls & Boys: A Pre-School Bullying Problem?



Parenting Humour

Tantrums, Disney
Image Courtesy of Babygaga


12 Most Epic Tantrums These Celeb Parents Had To Endure

15 Funny AF Pics That Show How Dad Really Raises The Kids

12 Crazy AF Baby Showers That You Won’t Believe Went Down

13 Things Celeb Parents Did That Were Sketchy AF


Relationships & Romance

Contract
Image courtesy of The Richest


15 Fails Inspired By Fifty Shades Of Grey


Pregnancy


14 Surprising Foods That Can Boost The Baby’s Brain During Pregnancy

14 Warning Signs A Woman’s Pregnancy Might Be In Serious Danger


Dinosaurs

Image courtesy of The Richest


15 Stupid Things About Dinosaurs People Actually Believe


Celebrity Articles 


Image Courtesy of The Richest

15 Scandalous Celebrity Pics We’ll Never Forget



15 Photos Of Brutal Celeb-Fan Meetings


20 Photos Of Hollywood’s Hottest Trainwrecks



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Multiple Momstrosity on Twitter @Sarabethbug


Sunday, 18 June 2017

Song For Dad: A Father's Day Post

For the second year in a row a dedicated Father's Day post didn't happen where I ask a bunch of dads questions about being fathers.  Instead I decided to see what kind of difference one year would make and I asked the minions a bunch of questions about Chris and see what they had to say. This is what Molly and Jack, age five and a half thought about their dad.  Some of their insight is spot on. I highly encourage parents everywhere to ask these questions to their kids and record them, because it's pretty amazing.


Chillin with a chicken at High Park Zoo



1. What makes dad happy?

Molly: Me and Jackie and momma.

Jack: Planting the garden.


2. How does your dad make you laugh?

Molly: When he pretends to try and eat me.

Jack: He's so funny, He makes me funny Plasticine men like lizard man.



3. What does your dad do when you’re not around?

Molly: Wait for me to come back, play with Jackie.

Jack: Waits for me.

4. What is your dad really good at?

Molly: Playing Daddy Monster and drinking beer.

Jack: Building Lego.

5. What is your dad not very good at?

Molly: Drawing.

Jack: Drawing.

6. What does your dad do for a job?

Molly: That's a hard question.  I don't know.

Jack: Sing.

7. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be?

Molly: Robin from Teen Titans because they're both funny and that they both want to be the boss but aren't.

Jack: Scorpion, because Scorpion is cool and a bad guy, just like daddy.




8. How are you and your dad the same?

Molly: We both like our car, going to garage sales, and eating cornflakes.

Jack: Because we both like to work on invisible computers together and we both love Lego.

9. How are you and your dad different?

Molly: I don't like Lego that much, and when daddy was a kid he loved Lego, he still loves it.

Jack: I am a lot like the Human Torch, but daddy isn't.

10. How do you know your dad loves you?

Molly: I can feel it in his heart.

Jack: Because I just know he does.

11. What does your dad like most about me (mom)?

Molly: That he loves her and you love him.

Jack: That mommy does the planning.


To read Molly & Jack's answers from last year click hereTo read my Father's Day Honest "dad" survey post from 2014 click here.
To read my Father's Day dad survey post from 2013 click here.


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Multiple Momstrosity on Twitter @Sarabethbug

Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Blue Dress - A Punishment Complete

Last week we busted Molly in a bold faced lie.  Yesterday she completed her punishment with minimal fuss and muss.  When I made her swear on "all of her pretty dresses" that she was telling the truth, and then later had to remove them from her closet because she had in fact been lying I thought that I'd orchestrated a pretty random and silly punishment. (read the post on her lying here).

As an adult if someone told me I couldn't wear a dress for a week it wouldn't impact my life that much.  But when you're a five and a half year old girl, whose life revolves around dress-up as a part of your play, it's a very big deal.

pretty dress
Molly dressed for success circa summer 2013


Each night when Molly picked out her clothes for the next day there was significantly less choice for her. Then on Friday we went to visit her cousins who began playing dress up with her.  When offered a lovely red dress Molly forgot and pranced upstairs to show us how cute she looked in her red dress.  We reminded her of her punishment, and she had to take it off while her cousins continued to run around in princess attire. To rub salt into the wound, her older cousin passed along a beautiful purple princess dress to Molly that she wouldn't be able to wear until Wednesday (I couldn't have planned it better).

On Sunday she had a birthday party - normally the perfect occasion to wear a dress. She was forced to wear leggings and a t-shirt.  Then at a play date later that day, when a friend presented her with a tickle trunk filled with princess dresses for the pair to wear, Molly had to explain why she was not permitted to join in on the princess party.

At her after school program, two of her dress wearing companions noticed Molly's wardrobe change and asked her about it.  So she had to explain, yet again about what had happened and why there was a week long ban on dresses.


We can wear a dress even at the beach


I am proud of Molly.  I wish we had never faced the situation where she lied, but I think she gets the importance of us being able to trust her and believe her.  She has a better understanding of the power of her words, and the importance of doing what's right, no matter how hard.

This morning she was able to get up and put on a lovely yellow spring dress, having completed her punishment with the grace of a pretty pretty princess, dress or no dress.

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Thursday, 8 June 2017

Why I Lie

Being an authority figure is weird, which is one of the reasons why parenting is so strange.  Yesterday we found ourselves in new territory, laying down one of the biggest punishments to date.  I am confident that we did the right thing (this article in the Huffington Post has tips that are useful for age appropriate ways to cope with kids lying), but that doesn't make it any less bizarre.

Molly borrowed Jack's emoji earmuffs named Romeo (because they have giant hearts for eyes) to wear to school.  Yes everyone is aware it's June, but that's not the point.  Since Molly is the most prone to lose things of my kids, we reminded her that she needed to take really good care of them.

After school Molly regretfully told us that Jack's earmuffs had been snapped in half at school.  We were treated to a detailed story about two of her friends playing a game with her, while she was riding a bike around the school yard.  At that time the earmuffs fell off of her, were picked up by a boy from another class who she didn't really know.  This boy snapped the earmuffs in half and then placed them back on Molly's head.  We were told not to worry, Molly had already notified the teacher on yard duty.
emoji romeo




Something about her story seemed off.  Chris and I assumed that Molly was covering for a friend who had mistakenly broken the earmuffs.  I asked her to tell me right away if she was telling the truth and that this was her chance to come clean without additional consequences.  She insisted that she was.  I asked her to swear on all of her pretty dresses that she wasn't lying and she did.  I have no idea why I asked her to swear on all of her dresses, I just did.

We dropped it.  We told Jack we'd get him new earmuffs in the fall.  But something didn't feel right to me, so a little while later when Molly and I were hanging out I started to ask her a series of questions about the story to see if she'd falter.  That's right HIMYM fans, I lawyered her.  All of a sudden she knew the name of the boy who broke the earmuffs: Fred, from her class.  Spoiler alert, there is no one in her class named Fred. BUSTED!


How I Met Your Mother
Image via Giphy


It turns out I am still smarter than a five and a half year old.  She burst into tears and told me how she had broken them.  I made her tell her brother and her dad that she had lied, I pulled all of her pretty dresses out of her closet and told her she couldn't wear them for a week.  Jack was a really good sport about all of it...meanwhile Chris and I couldn't make eye contact with each other because we found this more amusing than parents are supposed to and our poker faces are terrible.

We told her she'd be skipping her allowance for two weeks to pay for new earmuffs.  We explained to her that had she told her the truth the only thing that would have likely happened was the payment and an apology, but because she'd lied things were worse.  She cried in her room for half an hour.  We reminded her that we loved her no matter what, and that she needed to tell us the truth in order for us to trust her. We also asked her to pick one more punishment - She's lost her "picks" for TV for a week, which means there's going to be a lot of Nexo Knights and super hero programming in our house courtesy of Jack.

Will she lie to us again?  Totally!  But hopefully this slows things down, or at the very least she'll become a better liar.  I can't get over how many bases she had covered in her web of lies.  As one of my BFF's said when I told her, "The teenage years are going to be fun".  Sigh.


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Sunday, 4 June 2017

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie A Movie Review

Jack discovered Captain Underpants in the books at his after-school program.  Immediately he fell in love with the tighty-whitie clad hero who looks like a giant baby, and bathroom humour to boot!  He also fell in love with story time, books, and comics thanks to the brilliance of Dav Pilkey.  We're currently at number 10 in the Captain Underpants series, and have also become big fans of the Dog Man series thanks to Jack and his infectious giggles.

Image Courtesy of Teaser Trailer


Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie



What's in it for the Kids?
Friendship, fart jokes, and the comforts of a story that many, many kids know well and are growing up with.  The story runs pretty close to the first and fourth book in the series and leaves room for many sequels should this flick bring in the numbers they're looking for at the box office.

What's in it for the Adults?
If your kids love Captain Underpants as much as mine do, odds are you'll know the story quite well. We were all pleasantly surprised to see that the voice interpretations Chris has been practicing for the past several months for Captain Underpants/Principal Krupp, and Melvin Sneedly were spot on.  This is a kids movie, geared directly at kids, with a lot of bathroom jokes in it, so there isn't a lot in there for parents (unless potty humour is your jam), but you can enjoy the voice talents of Kevin Hart, Ed Helms, Kristen Schaal, Nick Kroll, and Thomas Middleditch (Silicon Valley).


Dav Pilkey HOme
Image Courtesy of YouTube



Best Parts of the Movie
This is the next generation of Superfudge (man I feel old saying that) but brought to the big screen with celebrity voice actors, CG animation, and even a movie style Flip-O-Rama in a real ode to the Dav Pilkey books in all of its movie glory. While there is no real moral to the story, and you may need to have a couple of conversations with your kids about toning down the toilet humour, the friendship in this movie between George and Harold is as special in the movie as it is in the book.


Worst Parts of the Movie
I found myself wanting more humour, more wit, and more potty jokes than what was provided here. Other adults with me agreed.  In the last 20 minutes of the film I found my dedication to the little plot present lagging, but was re-interested each time I heard the little giggle of Jack from a few seats over.


Overall Rating
I would rate this movie 3/5, because I just wanted more but Molly and Jack would give it a solid 4. Sometimes a movie comes out at the perfect time for the perfect person to enjoy it: Jack is that person right now and both kids loved the film. Jack who usually has so many questions during a film that we have to limit the number of times he's permitted to talk sat there in jaw dropped silence that was only broken by his belly laughs.  We will own this movie, and we will see all of the sequels, but not because of our insistence.  It's not the type of movie that you're going to hate your child watching, but you won't be compelled to sit down and join them.  If your kids love Captain Underpants in all of his "Tra La La" glory, go and see this with them.

To read my review of Boss Baby click here

To read my review of the Lego Batman movie click here



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Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Words of Wisdom: My Kids In 140 Characters Or Less

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.


Image Courtesy of: www.fanfest.com

1. J: There's a problem at the superhero BBQ Me: What is it? J: Hulk keeps burning his tongue on sausages cause he isn't practicing patience

2. J: The potty talk at dinner isn't our fault M: Yeah daddy hypnotized us to make us talk like this #ToddlerLife #parenting

3. Even a about ur kids getting along via text message will result in an epic battle where everyone is crying

4. J: I need an ice pack dad: why? J: I hurt my arm. dad: how? J: It's covered in apple sauce. dad: so it needs ice? J: YES!


5. M: You mean I can't do jumping jacks in the car? Me: Do I really need to explain just how dangerous this is?


6. J: I wish that daddy was a cheese string. But don't worry I won't eat you, I'm not hungry right now.



Image Courtesy of YouTube


7. Watching this weekend has led my son to an obsession of getting revenge on "All of the Scorpions"


8. It's probably a good idea to turn off when your daughter wakes up with a nightmare


9. When u check on ur child before bed & find him fast asleep with his hand in a bag of contraband popcorn (No DNA test needed, he's mine) 10. M: can we get a new pet? J: can it be an invisible corn snake that solves mysteries and fights crime? Me: sure?



To read more blogs on my kids on twitter click here, herehereherehereherehere, and here.


Tuesday, 16 May 2017

Paperback Writer: Sharing My Writing On Other Sites

It's that time of the month again when I share some of the writing I've been completing for other publications.  I was particularly excited about an opportunity to provide a parental perspective on important conversations surrounding the Netflix hit, 13 Reasons Why.  I also loved diving in and researching around Molly and the addition of an imaginary friend named Liam in her life.

Nowadays as my full-time job I write and ghostwrite articles for online publications, organizations and blogs, in addition to providing public relations services.  While I can't really share my ghostwritten articles on this platform, cause then I wouldn't really be a ghostwriter would I, I can share some of the other stuff I have been working on.

This month Multiple Momstrosity reached a major milestone, with over 300,000 visitors (and counting) visiting our lives. I can't begin to explain how thankful I am for all of the support I've had over the years for my writing, and for life as a parent.  


Click on the links for the topics that interest you most, and if you enjoy what I wrote please share, like, and follow, and keep parenting and reading on!  If you have any ideas for a story, a playground review, or article on any front, feel free to share it with me!  I'm always looking for new sources of inspiration!

Parenting & Popular Culture




13 Serious Issues Parents Can’t Ignore From “13 Reasons Why”

15 Kid Movies That Are Actually Really Inappropriate

15 Of Disney’s Leading Ladies Who Are Thirsty AF

Practical Parenting Advice




15 Sneaky Ways For Mom To Grab Some “Me” Time

Advocating for Kind, Not Nice, Children

Should Parents Worry About Imaginary Friends

The Way We Talk About Our Bodies In Front Of Our Kids





What To Do When The Pet Gets Jealous Of The Baby

The Parental Guide to: Spring Cleaning, Recycling, & Charity

Practical Coping for Preschooler Nightmares


Prenatal & Infant Articles



15 Unusual Pregnancy Rituals You Wont Believe Are True (But Probably Work!)

15 Crazy Stories About Where Babies Come From

15 Pictures Moms Must Have For The Baby Book


Human Nature Entertainment



15 Dumb Girls Who Tried To Take A Selfie With Animals

15 Times Adrenaline Took Over And Turned People Into Superhumans




Entertainment Writing



15 Secrets About How I Met Your Mother Characters


15 Cringe-Worthy Photos Hotel Execs Don’t Want Us To See



Lists


The Top 25 Parenting Blogs of 2017...So Far


Sports


15 Things You Didn’t Know About A-Rod’s Millionaire Lifestyle

History




15 Things You Didn’t Know About Joseph Stalin



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Friday, 12 May 2017

Life Thru A Lens - A Mother's Day Post

Last year on Mother's Day I was gifted with one of the greatest presents I've ever had; photos with me and my children.  Since I'm the primary photographer in our family and I'm not the biggest fan of how I look in a lot of pictures I tend to avoid them (or quickly delete them).

Here's the thing, looking back I wish that there were more pictures of me and my kids at every age imaginable, and they're only five.  When Chris told me last Mother's Day that my present included a walk along the Lakeshore and him snapping dozens of pictures with the kids I was thrilled.  After dozens upon dozens of pics taken we walked away with about three photos that I loved (after I photo shopped out some graffiti).

Mom's this Mother's Day and any day, jump in front of the camera and be as present in the photos with your children as you are in their lives each day.  These don't need to be professional photos, or formal posed ones at special occasions.  You can find them every day.  While you may not love them, keep them.  You and your kids will cherish them, closed eyes, double chins and all!

Here are some of my favourite photos snapped of me and the minions over the years - TBH there aren't that many of just me and my kids and it makes me a little sad.  I'm hoping to add some more to the batch this weekend!  Be well, be happy and celebrate your family together.


HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!


Getting to know each other 1 month in

1st Christmas, I can't get over how exhausted I look here 
8 months in, finally confident for outings on our own

A rare moment with quietly sleeping baby Molly

Mother's Day 2016


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Friday, 5 May 2017

For A Little While

Memory is a funny thing.  I always wonder what things my children will remember from their childhood and what other things will slowly fade away.  Photos and repetition of stories help, but we know some things will be lost forever.

When Jack was a toddler he didn't play with traditional toys, and he was more than a little bit obsessed with "plugs".  He spent a great deal of time playing with random objects like bottle caps, sink stoppers, bathtub plugs, old door bells, and wine corks (he named his wine cork Corkia).  I'm not talking about a phase that lasted for a few weeks, this bordered on obsession, and lasted for at least a year (maybe even longer).  It got to the point where we had to limit his time with his plugs (which he called the family).  I looked back at past entries and I had written about "the family", and limiting obsessive tendencies with plugs several times because it was such an issue.

Last weekend, Jack came into the bedroom and handed me a brand new bathroom tub plug with a chain (one we had purchased him from the dollar store a few years ago).  As he plopped it into my hand he ask softly, "Why is this in my toy box? It's not a toy." I asked him if he was joking, he was not.  Even Molly was at a loss for words, having lived with a brother who would parallel play with his plugs as she used more traditional toys.  "Jackie, don't you remember the family and all of your plugs?" she asked.  He admitted he did, a little bit, and left his old plug on the table beside our bed because he no longer connected with it.

How could something he spent so many hours playing with, that was one of his comfort items in the toddler years be wiped clean as if the Men in Black had shown up with their magic mind eraser pen?

Image courtesy of Giphy


While this memory loss confounds us, it's actually really common and often referred to as childhood amnesia.  Research has determined that little kids can remember many things from when before they are three years old, but as they age, with seven years old being some sort of marker, their autobiographical memories from their younger years will disappear.  So there is nothing to worry about, although I must admit the loss of this memory makes me a little sad.

A Canadian based research study has found some of the cause, apparently, "When brains are busy growing lots of new cells, they don’t store memories that would otherwise be long-term."  The research has found that kids aged five to seven remember about 60 percent of their memories from early life, whereas kids aged eight or nine only remember 40 percent of these memories.

Research Patricia Bower says of memory studies surrounding children, "Early in development those structures are working, but not very efficiently -- children are forming memories, but through natural processes those are fading and becoming inaccessible. By the time you reach adulthood, those memories are working very effectively.”

One of the reasons I love keeping this blog up to date is to record moments that might otherwise disappear.  There are so many smaller things that would otherwise be lost, or go down the drain, especially now that the plugs are gone.



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Friday, 28 April 2017

So Sorry, Happy Mother's Day

I can't believe that it's that time of year again. In just a couple of weeks  it will be Mother's Day.  In annual tradition, today I look back on the year that has passed and apologize to my own mom for "crimes" that I most likely violated when I was five years old based on my own motherhood experiences this year.  Deep breath, here it goes....


A fav picture taken on Mother's Day Last Year

Dearest Mom,

I'm so incredibly sorry for...
  • crying because I hit snooze button on my alarm clock
  • interrupting any time you sit on the toilet by screaming "I HAVE TO GO POO NOW!"
  • if i ever complained that you wore your pink polar fleece pullover too much.  I have a black one that I easily live in 4-6 months a year and it's the bomb!  Molly is unthrilled with this fashion choice.
  • poking you in the eye when I climbed into bed with you following a nightmare
  • blood curdling screams following a nightmare that kept you awake for hours
  • peeing all over the bathroom wall, repeatedly (I hope I never did this...I imagine my son and brother also owe you an apology for this gem)
  • not appreciating what a feat it is to have matching pairs of toddler socks
  • leaving the cap off of every single marker I've ever used
  • bringing home completely untouched lunches because "I'm totally over that food mom!"
  • stealing food off your plate and being so completely adorable about it that you just take it
  • splashing in the tub (at least that partially solves the peeing on the wall issue)
  • loving messy craft supplies that involve glitter
  • setting off toy bombs directly before company arrives
  • never, ever flushing
  • leaving a path of painful toys for you to step on
  • wiping my chocolate ice cream hands on the wall "to get them clean"
  • coming to cuddle you only to let out an epic fart (and now using the word fart because I know you hate it - I meant "wind" I swear)
  • shoving my sibling to the ground because they beat me in a race
  • insisting on being carried to the car at five years old
  • inviting random kids I just met to sleepovers 
  • using your jeans as my own personal towel and tissue
  • sneezing in your face
  • gifting you or dad broken glass that I painstakingly collected with my bare hands
  • eating garbage food I found on the car floor (who am I kidding, your car floor has always been immaculate - that would never happen to you)
  • refusing to wear a hat/ gloves or a warm jacket and then complaining to my teacher about how cold I am all day long
  • saying "sawy" semi-sarcastically when you call me on my crap
  • asking for more of something and then refusing to eat or drink it
  • complaining about epic hunger five minutes post bed time
  • at least a dozen other things I've forgotten


P.S. Still not sorry for the black lipstick I wore as a teenager

P.P.S I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

To see the first ever apology note click here
To see the 2016 apology note click here
To see the 2015 apology note click here
To see the 2014 apology note click here
To see the 2013 apology note click here



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Multiple Momstrosity on Twitter @Sarabethbug




Friday, 21 April 2017

Words of Wisdom: My Kids in 140 Characters or Less

We spend a lot of time with the minions and I'm fortunate enough to record the things that they say and do so I can look back on it and laugh.  Some of it makes the blog and other smaller moments don't.  One of the brilliant things about Twitter is how it's the ultimate parenting "elevator speech", because you have to keep it short. Below are Tweets, conversations, parental musings and things that the minions have done or said over the past month, for your reading pleasure that haven't made it to the blog.


1. M: you know who isn't very good at singing? Chickens! J: yeah they're the worst. Just terrible #ToddlerLife


2. Today I let my son pee in a Tupperware container because there was no other option. He's excited like we just went to #Disney #ToddlerLife


3. It's hard to be angry when your salt & pepper shakers are used for #LEGO #playtime (they are giant ant monsters after all) #parenting




4. M: I just realized something that's going to blow your mind: A Jester is like a clown. Me: Yeah. M: Why aren't you more excited about this?


5. J: You know what the worst part about having a lot of money is? Me: What? J: How heavy it would be to carry #ToddlerLogic


6. Adulting is pretending that it's not hilarious when your child does a spot on impression of one of their teachers #parentingfail


7. J: Did you lock all of the doors? Me: Yes.  J: Good, I don't want anyone stealing or messing with my #Lego #ToddlerLife

8. Parenting Hangover: When u feel like u drank a 26er last night, but it was just ur #toddler starfishing in your bed #ToddlerLife



Gif Courtesy of  www.smosh.com

9. M: I broke up with the big bad wolf because he was late all the time Me: That was it? M: Punctuality is important in a partner mom!


10.  J: I have a big problem. My brain is controlling what I'm doing Me: And that's a problem? J: big time. #ToddlerLife


11. Why is it the second I sit down on the toilet a little voice is yelling into the door about having to poo...NOW!!!! #ToddlerLife


12. It's official #LEGO is a bigger pest in my home than #glitter I mean glitter still sucks, but it doesn't stab my foot like #Batman's helmet



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