I'm SO sorry for:
- Being a month overdue....I only had 38 weeks of pregnancy, I can't imagine what another 6 weeks would have felt like.
- Any back pain you have ever experienced, from pregnancy & beyond, apparently one of my pelvic bones is re-aligning much slower than the other, Thank You Molly!
- Morning Sickness, that lasts all day, for nearly 5 months.
- Heart burn and acid re-flux
- The hottest summer in the history during pregnancy!**
- Colic...after experiencing over 400 hours of constant screaming that you can not calm, cannot diagnose, cannot explain, but can set your watch to, I finally get it. I feel lucky and loved to have survived it.
- Sleepless nights
- Poo in the bath tub. I don't want to know how many times I have had to fish out and flush, followed by intense scrubbing of the baby bath and my own tub.
- Terrible timing for disgusting things like blow out diapers and spit up everywhere mere moments before the sitter arrives and a formal event is waiting.
- Hair Pulling
- Eye Gauging
- Finding disgusting things and putting them in my mouth.***
- Necklace & earring pulling
- Goober marks on shoulders
- Sneezing in your face
- Coughing in your face
- Tantrums or pouting of any kind, ever.****
And thank you for giving me a break whenever I need it and for never saying I told you so!
P.S. I'm still not sorry for wearing black lipstick as a teenager.
*This blog entry has a great comparison: http://www.runnerstrials.com/2011/07/11/pregnancy-vs-marathon-training/
**Thank you to my mom for clipping a newspaper article confirming how hot it was last summer, so I can prove to my children that I'm not full of it.
***Keep your minds out of the gutter people!
****I was unaware, until the birth of Molly, that pouting is a facial expression that is not learned and comes naturally to babies.